What is this?
DICKTEMP was an art+performance experiment to monitor the temperature and humidity of my penis & testicles for the 30 days of November, 2014!

Here's everything you wanna know:

...And you can follow the progress in my YouTube video logs:

#dicktemp Day 10 by Scotch Wichmann #dicktemp Day 20 by Scotch Wichmann #dicktemp Day 30 by Scotch Wichmann
Day 10 Day 20 Day 30


How did this begin?
Matt Damon & big bear One night I dreamed that I was sitting beside Matt Damon on a beach.

Suddenly, an angry polar bear came stampeding toward us. I tackled it and we wrestled in the sand until I finally managed to rip off one of its furry legs. Deflated, the bear hobbled away.

I looked down at the bloody bear leg in my hands and felt terrible—but Matt was amazed.

"HOLY CRAP, YOU WHIPPED A POLAR BEAR!" Matt yelled. He pointed at my crotch. "Your balls must be on fire!"

"My huevos do feel warm," I admitted. "And my chorizo, too."

"You should take their temperature every day for a month!" said Matt. "The world needs to know how hot a bear-fighting man's huevos burn!"

How could I say no to Matt Damon? And so, DICKTEMP was born.

That's all there is to it, unless you'd also like the arty-farty explanation:

This phenomenological art adventure explores whether the penetrating primordial and symbolic powers imparted by the phallus—masculine self-image, sexual desire, feelings of potency, psychical protection, and creative drive—are boosted, diminished, or left unaffected by quotidian scientific scrutiny and the presence of cybernetic monitoring equipment taped to my wang.

How does it work?
Every 60 seconds, do-it-yourself electronics taped to my junk and housed in a fanny pack transmit temperature and humidity data to DICKTEMP.COM via my phone.

My phone also lets me log whatever I'm currently doing (sitting, exercising, etc.), so you can see how different activities affect the heat and humidity of my loins. (And if you've got ideas for activities I should try, I'd love to hear them!)

Check DICKTEMP.COM often to track my current progress, compare the daily graphs, or follow me on Twitter to receive #DICKTEMP updates!

If you want more technical details on DICKTEMP, go here.

And don't miss the letter I received from The Smithsonian!

About me
I'm a performance artist & writer in Los Angeles.

My first novel was just published! If you love crazy comedy, check it out!